Why 35? How did I come up with 35? Not using common core, that’s for sure. I simply added 20+15…
My list is comprised of personal and business related things. Some of which I’ll go into more detail about later, and some I’ll just let go of, or try…
- I didn’t do fuck all in 2015
- I learned it takes a village in the writing/publishing business to get the word out, the boost your name, etc…
- I don’t have a village or a small tribe of good friends/authors/bloggers who I can band together with.
- I’m not organized enough and I like my personal time with family way too much
- I hate always having to be ON
- I compared myself to others. A LOT. And while we’re not ‘supposed’ to do it, when everyone posts their awesomeness, it’s kinda hard not to do compare. It’s okay. We ALL do it.
- Success is a state of mind and mine has been in the crapper.
- I’m lost. And let’s face it, I’ve been lost in this writing/publishing business since 2010. That’s a long ass time to wander in the dark. Without a map.
- I suck at time management, especially when there are big changes to my schedule.
- I suck writing during the day.
- I didn’t read enough
- I didn’t bake enough
- I didn’t craft enough
- I didn’t go to any conferences and I wasn’t once sad about it.
- Depression is a fucking liar, but a fucking good one
- 6 deaths in the family in 24 months is not good for anyone
- I need a vacation
- My kids growing up make me both incredibly proud and incredibly sad
- Emotions are a bitch.
- My swearing has picked up the pace.
- Too many hurtful, negative voices in my head telling me I can’t and I shouldn’t and I need to but I won’t
- I made a bestseller list with a group of amazing authors who have dedication that I can’t begin to fathom
- I wrote some fun stories and made some money
- I wrote some fun stories and didn’t make enough money
- I’m tired
- I don’t do it right. Any Of It!
- I did not lose weight
- I exercised more
- I drank a lot of water
- I didn’t see or do a lot of things
- I was proud to be a Kyle Busch fan
- I was proud to be a Florida State Seminole fan
- Common Core sucks ass
- I’m glad 2015 is over
- Brilliance is out there. I just don’t know how to find it.
So, there it is. My list. It’s sad and completely uninspired. It’s depressing and horrible to look at. This lost thing is going to stop and go away. It has to. There is no other choice. I had a voice once and it’s fucking GONE. It’s time to find a new voice. I don’t know how. I don’t know how you’re going to learn about it. But, it’s time for me to find it.
I have some goals set for 2016, but that’s a post for another day.
Be blessed and beautiful and thank you for being there for me.