Why 35? How did I come up with 35? Not using common core, that’s for sure. I simply added 20+15…

My list is comprised of personal and business related things. Some of which I’ll go into more detail about later, and some I’ll just let go of, or try…

      1. I didn’t do fuck all in 2015
      2. I learned it takes a village in the writing/publishing business to get the word out, the boost your name, etc…
      3. I don’t have a village or a small tribe of good friends/authors/bloggers who I can band together with.
      4. I’m not organized enough and I like my personal time with family way too much
      5. I hate always having to be ON
      6. I compared myself to others. A LOT. And while we’re not ‘supposed’ to do it, when everyone posts their awesomeness, it’s kinda hard not to do compare. It’s okay. We ALL do it.
      7. Success is a state of mind and mine has been in the crapper.
      8. I’m lost. And let’s face it, I’ve been lost in this writing/publishing business since 2010. That’s a long ass time to wander in the dark. Without a map.
      9. I suck at time management, especially when there are big changes to my schedule.
      10. I suck writing during the day.
      11. I didn’t read enough
      12. I didn’t bake enough
      13. I didn’t craft enough
      14. I didn’t go to any conferences and I wasn’t once sad about it.
      15. Depression is a fucking liar, but a fucking good one
      16. 6 deaths in the family in 24 months is not good for anyone
      17. I need a vacation
      18. My kids growing up make me both incredibly proud and incredibly sad
      19. Emotions are a bitch.
      20. My swearing has picked up the pace.
      21. Too many hurtful, negative voices in my head telling me I can’t and I shouldn’t and I need to but I won’t
      22. I made a bestseller list with a group of amazing authors who have dedication that I can’t begin to fathom
      23. I wrote some fun stories and made some money
      24. I wrote some fun stories and didn’t make enough money
      25. I’m tired
      26. I don’t do it right. Any Of It!
      27. I did not lose weight
      28. I exercised more
      29. I drank a lot of water
      30. I didn’t see or do a lot of things
      31. I was proud to be a Kyle Busch fan
      32. I was proud to be a Florida State Seminole fan
      33. Common Core sucks ass
      34. I’m glad 2015 is over
      35. Brilliance is out there. I just don’t know how to find it.

So, there it is. My list. It’s sad and completely uninspired. It’s depressing and horrible to look at. This lost thing is going to stop and go away. It has to. There is no other choice. I had a voice once and it’s fucking GONE. It’s time to find a new voice. I don’t know how. I don’t know how you’re going to learn about it. But, it’s time for me to find it.

I have some goals set for 2016, but that’s a post for another day.

Be blessed and beautiful and thank you for being there for me.



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