Birthdays come once a year and mine’s today. I turned 46.

Over the past few years, I’ve both looked forward to my birthday and dreaded it. Usually by the middle of the day, I’m depressed and disenchanted.There are no friends to celebrate with. There are no surprise parties or presents. I always expect it to change or get more festive, because when I looked on social media, it seemed everyone else had great celebrations and boy what a loser I am that I don’t/didn’t/haven’t.

This year, today, has been different. I can’t really explain why, except that I am looking at life a little differently and maybe that’s been the switch I needed to spark something.

I have spent less time on social media and more time with myself, my thoughts, the things I can control. My participation has picked up some, but it’s still not and won’t be what it used to be. For my business as Lissa Matthews, though, I do recognize it’s limited benefits and I adjust accordingly.

But blocking out all the stressful, angry, hateful noise has allowed me to think like me again. I am writing more and and loving the process. I am reading blog posts and writing articles and creativity articles and listening to podcasts. I’m looking for the positive, the happy, the creative, the productive, the engaged.

So, as my birthday approached, I thought of things I might want and the list is long. I can always find more things to want. And it’s not always material, but most things do require some level of income. My birthday wish list will take more than this year to achieve and to be honest, I hope I’m always working toward something new, always learning, always wishing and wondering and trying.

Here’s my current list:

Read more.

Travel.

Craft.

Write.

Laugh.

Sleep.

Eat.

Play.

Grow.

de-Stress.

Build.

Redefine sexy.

Glow.

There isn’t just one thing that creates all of this. It’s multiple things, actions, motivations. And I’m already taking some and seeing change and results that are different. When I was looking outside and at others, I was stagnant and deteriorating. No longer.

So, yes, Happy Birthday to Me. I went out with my family and we had incredible burgers and fries, some free banana pudding. I strolled through Barnes and Noble and left with a whole list of books I want to read and write, but exited the store with a Writer’s Digest Magazine that I am planning to read from start to finish.

And I received a birthday gift from a friend that I will let all of you know about as soon as I have more details.

For now, I have a movie to watch and chocolate covered strawberries to devour before my special day comes to a close.

Tell me, though… What’s on your birthday wish list?

~lissa

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