by Mlissa | Jun 12, 2013 | BDSM, Guest blogs
Thank you Lissa for having me.
My topic is about writing erotic/erotica romantic fiction and enjoy what you write.
Writing erotic/erotica fiction gets an audience, whether its “OMG that’s disgusting,” or “Wow, you really write that stuff, that’s naughty,” giggles. It comes with mixed reactions whether you’re shocked or intrigued. Sex, lovemaking is natural, a majority of us do it and actually like it, unlike the ones who like to be washing their hair! Whether you see Erotica as porn, hardcore, explicit disgrace, or shy away whenever the subject comes up, we are all entitled to opinions. However, on the other side, its lovemaking, passion, erotic, sexual intimacy and has its unique ways of having exciting fun, between consenting adults!
Erotica is a genre on its own, and not all about explicit sex, but if the story is structured well, with a good plot, setting and characters, it leads of into its own little word. The build up, the tension, passion and excitement and without the sex the story cannot be told, and would be missing the main highlights, it would be made boring, the sex is there to feel the appreciation and intimacy. But remembering to keep the story flowing and not just have it about the sex, add fantasises whether its dressing up or BDSM keeping the reader focused and enjoying the scenes, it’s the drive from the characters that make it special.
“Romantica” is used in romance and erotic, making it a huge category, but in these its not just holding hands these boundaries are removed, no limits, take it further and make the passion hotter than ever. They also like adding fantasy, mystery, science fiction or paranormal, keeping the story on its toes, just like any other fictions out there.
Erotica is unlike pure romances and looses the poetic euphemisms, making sure the story built up of the language and sexual imagery and these are used to drive the sexual tension.
After the recent success of Fifty Shades Of Grey it has finally opened the erotic/erotica world up. Finally able to go in a bookstore and see a novel of the genre on the shelves, and bookstands was exciting, yet again their was arguments and the book should only been seen on the top shelf, yet again the sex stigma. Young children can see it, yes they can, but they can also see thrillers with explicit murders being given step by step!
Now sitting down and actually writing an erotic/erotica, romantic novel with a good plot and characters can be challenging in itself. Personally keep writing as a hobby, write it for the pleasure, enthral the characters, plot and setting and love the journey. Submit to publishers with an open mind, become aware that if you get that contact it’s a bonus. It is hard no matter how many rejections you get and how disheartening it can be and you have low and high points, keep writing, keep sharing your imagination with your laptop, pen and paper. However, keep writing, hang in there! It is daunting the hours, time, and the research you put into the fiction but do it for the sake of your pleasure. I after years of writing secretly, I finally told my best friend about four years ago. Yes shocked, but she read my work and loved it. I never expected to be where I am today and thanks to Secret Cravings Publishers my second novel with Nikki Blaise is out there.
Getting everyone to agree to read erotic/erotica is a matter of opinions and it will always get the stigma. If you enjoy writing it, keep going, whether you write under a pen name or your own, keep going. Remember write for pleasure as the story unfolds within your heart. If it don’t fit, take it out, if it’s out of character get rid. You create these characters you know what they like and dislike, make them exciting and do crazy things it makes it more compelling, but keep the drive and enjoy what you write. I have learned greatly that also once you become published, there will always be someone who doesn’t enjoy your work and will criticise, expect it, not everyone will enjoy your hard work.
Happy writing and reading no matter what your genre!
Touching Angel’s Desires is the second book in the Desires series.
Touching Angel’s Desires blurb
Angel’s life was one, big, long, dream come true. Young, beautiful, sexy, and in charge of Desires—the best sex club in the country. An entire staff of delicious men and delectable women was at her beck and call, ready to indulge her every carnal whim.
When vulnerable abuse survivor Stacie Clifford tentatively approached Desires for help getting her sexual confidence back, Angel had no qualms about assigning her secret favourite Dan McVeigh as her tutor. Gentle and sweet, Dan was just what Stacie needed.
Angel hadn’t realized just how powerful her suppressed feelings for Dan were until she noticed Dan and Stacie were getting on a little too well. Despite Dan’s insistence that all was strictly professional, maybe it was time to persuade Stacie that Desires was not for her. Just how far would Angel go to keep Dan to herself?
No one touched Angel’s Desires.
Links to me:
http://www.facebook.com/hollyjgillauthor
http://hollyjgill.blogspot.co.uk/
https://twitter.com/HollyJGill
Links to Touching Angel’s Desires
Amazon.UK.Touching-Angels-Desires
Amazon Link US Touching Angel’s Desires
Secret Cravings Publishing
by Mlissa | Aug 2, 2012 | BDSM, Blog Hop

Well, here we are, y’all! Another fun, yet naughty blog hop. BDSM. Near and dear to my heart. I’ve been a student of the BDSM lifestyle for more than 10 years now and it’s as fascinating to me now as it was when I first began the journey.
For my part of the hop, I will be giving away two ebooks (via All Romance eBooks) and one print book (via Book Depository) of authors are have written BDSM books that have touched me in ways I sometimes still can’t even describe. And my giveaway is international.
Eden Bradley’s The Darker Side of Pleasure.
Prepare to enter a provocative, scintillating world where three women are about to take ecstasy to the limit–and beyond. In “The””Bonds of Love” a struggling couple will do anything to save their marriage, even if it means experimenting with a little bondage. But once their research moves beyond the bedroom, how will they know if they’ve gone too far?… In “The Lair” a woman answers an ad for a female submissive, ready to surrender to her body’s deepest yearnings. Finding love is the last thing she anticipates… And in “Love and Discipline” a journalist expects her interview with a sensual extremist to be business as usual. Instead she finds herself submitting to the dominant desires of a handsome stranger–and discovering more about herself than she ever dreamed possible. Sensual and mysterious, this captivating collection is sure to seduce you, page after tantalizing page….
Annabel Joseph’s Comfort Object.

Nell, an out-of-work professional submissive, is desperate to find a job when she meets handsome film star Jeremy Gray at the restaurant where she works. He says he needs a personal assistant, but the work contract he shows her details not organizational duties, but sexual ones. Jobless and homeless, Nell agrees to work for him anyway, on the promise that he will pay for her to finish her college degree when her stint as his “assistant” is complete.
The start of their formal Dom/sub relationship is rocky, but they soon fall into a mutually satisfying, highly sexual routine. They play vanilla boyfriend and girlfriend in public, while Jeremy uses Nell as his kinky comfort object behind the scenes. Then a stalker threatens their secret lifestyle, and their contract may not be strong enough to hold them together.
Sierra Cartwright’s Hawkeye One: Danger Zone.

Who’s watching you…?
The highly specialized Hawkeye team protects the world’s most valuable things, secrets, even people. But now one of their own needs protecting. There’s a cool million dollar bounty on Dom Wolf Stone’s head. Trouble is, Stone’s a loner and doesn’t want the help.
That doesn’t stop his submissive and former lover, Nate Davidson, or another determined agent, Kayla Fagan, from showing up at his Colorado ranch, uninvited. The spark, the anger, the hurt is still there between Wolf and Nate, and their first kiss reignites the flames that time and distance have not diminished. With Nate’s help, Wolf uncovers Kayla’s unexplored submissive tendencies. Under the Dom’s unyielding instruction, Kayla explores her sexuality in ways that make her dizzy.
For Wolf, there’s nothing better than having two very different, very willing, very pleasing subs at his command. But Kayla and Nate both want more. In addition to his love, they want him to give up control long enough to share his life completely. And that’s the one thing Wolf is incapable of giving.
Of course, there’s more going on with the hop than just my giveaway… Below you’ll find the form for the overall hop giveaway and the links to all the blogs participating.
In order to win the three books I’ve listed above, please answer one of the two following questions in the comments section of my blog:
1. Why do you read/enjoy BDSM books?
2. If you could try any act you’ve read about in a book (which I don’t recommend unless you’ve thoroughly researched it in non-fiction ways like talking to those in the lifestyle and reading up on it from a real practitioner’s viewpoint) but if you could try any act you’ve read about in a book, which would it be? Bondage? Spanking? Flogging? Blindfolds? Plugs? Being forbidden to speak or make eye contact? Cages?
Also, if you’d like, because I’d like you to but it’s not a requirement for the hop, to follow me or my blog, over on the sidebar are delightful little coffee cups with the various way and places to do so. There’s also my newsletter, email sign-up, Networked Blogs, and Pinterest (I have several pin boards dealing with my books and other passions, including coffee and food).
So, any questions? The hop runs until the 20th of August.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
by Mlissa | Aug 1, 2012 | BDSM

This month is going to be busy. I will be headed to New Orleans next week for Authors After Dark, but while I’m gone, I am also participating in a couple of BDSM related things… A BDSM Blog Hop and that starts tomorrow and a BDSM Event both of which are being hosted by Scorching Book Reviews.
Here is the link to the BDSM Event where you can get all the pertinent information and below you’ll find a list of all of the participating authors, including myself.

Be sure to mark your calendars and there are, as you can see, buttons for both of these on my sidebar.
~lissa
by Mlissa | May 7, 2012 | BDSM

I was, in a word, thrilled when I received an email from my favorite BDSM author, Eden Bradley, inviting me to participate in this event. Just looking at the names on this list… I am truly in exceptional company.
We all feel different about BDSM, what it means, what it signifies. It’s individual in how it plays out in someone’s life and what it is to me will be something else to another. We all have different levels of experience. Some of us may not have any experience at all beyond in depth research. But I think we all have a respect for the lifestyle that comes through in our writing.
My own exploration into BDSM has taught me respect for different opinions, different feelings, different avenues, different sexualities. Pain has taught me focus and to breathe. Bondage has taught me release of control in a way that nothing else ever good and to just accept. Spankings, floggings these things have taught me the benefits of tears, of emotional release of pent up stress. Discipline has taught me…discipline, to do as I should which isn’t always what I want or what is expected, it has taught me to think before I act, to think over what has already been done, to focus me on what is ahead. Punishment has taught me respect of authority, how to face my mistakes and missteps. I have been taught humility, and to accept myself.
BDSM has opened my eyes in a way nothing else I’ve ever encountered has. I am profoundly grateful I happened up on the lifestyle years ago. And yes, the sexual benefits are…incredible. But it’s not all or even mostly about sex. Not for me at least. There’s more, much more below the surface.
The media, in television and movies, has promoted BDSM to be deviant, to be maybe not wrong, but not exactly right or acceptable, that there’s always something that could have been ‘fixed’ about the person or changed about them so they didn’t want or need these things any longer. It’s a shame the lifestyle is viewed this way, is broadcast this way. But, it’s easy to cast a shadow over things that aren’t understood…
I hope you’ll come visit on Wednesday and Thursday over at the Smutketeers blog. There are giveaways, as well as questions and answers.
If you have a chance before then, check out some of the authors listed. You might have read them all or there maybe some new to you ones…
~lissa
by Mlissa | Jul 19, 2010 | BDSM
Good Morning! Too perky? Okay, how about just… mornin’? Better?
This will be a first for me on my blog, this one or the old one. I’ve not interviewed authors. And I’ve only had guests for my birthday celebration back in February and one other time when I just couldn’t blog. Otherwise, it’s been me, just me, only me. So, today will be a little different.
A few weeks ago, a friend asked if I’d heard of author Kitty Thomas. I had not. But, I went to look her up. She writes what she calls, dark erotic fiction. It’s not dark in the spooky or horrific sense, though for some people, I can see where it would be. She writes mentally dark, sexually dark and that can be even scarier. It can make you face things you really never wanted to face, see things within yourself that you never wanted to see. Some people can’t tolerate opening those deep places in the mind where the truly forbidden and taboo fantasies are hidden. I say some, but, would actually clarify it as most.
Her book is titled, Comfort Food. It is raw, explicit, erotic, graphic, edgy, painful, emotional, stripped, and a complete mind fuck. I loved the book. In places it hurt to read it. In others it was breathtaking. It is not your typical BDSM erotic romance. It’s harder in some ways than a lot of BDSM erotica that I’ve read over the years. I applaud Kitty for her storytelling. This story is in many ways, haunting.
I’ve asked her some questions and she’s answered them openly and honestly. I will post information at the end of the interview where her book may be purchased.
Book Description:
Emily Vargas has been taken captive. As part of his conditioning methods, her captor refuses to speak to her, knowing how much she craves human contact. He’s far too beautiful to be a monster. Combined with his lack of violence toward her, this has her walking a fine line at the edge of sanity. Told in the first person from Emily’s perspective, Comfort Food explores what happens when all expectations of pleasure and pain are turned upside down, as whips become comfort and chicken soup becomes punishment.
Disclaimer: (Taken from Amazon.com)
This is not a story about consensual BDSM. This is a story about “actual” slavery. If reading an erotic story without safewords makes you uncomfortable, this is not the book for you. This is a work of fiction, and the author does not endorse or condone any behavior done to another human being without their consent.
*Author’s Note: Several readers have emailed me after reading the book saying that they were nervous about reading it because of the disclaimer. Comfort Food is not “brutal” or particularly “violent”. The disclaimer is because I don’t want people to assume they are reading “BDSM romance” fiction with safewords. That’s not what this is.
Lissa: I really want to know the person behind the writer of this book… I want to know who you are and what moved you to write this book, this way…
Kitty: I really don’t know how to answer the question “who I am”. I’m a writer. I’m someone who has particular views about the world as well as about power dynamics that I find best shared in the safe space of fiction.
Lissa: Talk to me about your feelings about BDSM. And what role you identify most within the lifestyle…
Kitty: I fit an odd category I think. I’m most definitely an alpha female, but I’m not a dominatrix in a sexual relationship. I’m a sub. But it has to be with the right person. I prefer to be 24/7. I definitely have an “ownership kink” in that I don’t like the idea of BDSM as a “game”. Though at the same time, I don’t think a sub should just “give herself” to anyone. There are a lot of bad eggs in the kink scene. I get pretty concerned when I hear those who identify as slaves just throwing their submission at the feet of any random “Master”, whether said master deserves it or not. And I put that in quote marks intentionally because I’ve been very unimpressed with a lot of the men running around calling themselves masters.
Lissa: How did the story of Emily come about? What was your inspiration?
Kitty: I really can’t remember what my inspiration was. There was a sexual fantasy and then it became a book. I know that I really liked the idea of him not talking to her, and their connection being completely primal and based on nonverbal communication including body language and touch.
Lissa: Why did you choose first person POV?
Kitty: I felt like it was more immediate. The kind of story I wanted to tell, I really needed people to be “with” Emily. If you can get inside her head and understand her, you’re more likely to understand her choices and why she makes them as she does. Third person I don’t think would have worked here. Though I did use the third person perspective in part of the book to show her trying to detach from the sex. Later when you read you find out another reason the sex is in third person, but I won’t spoil that here. I want people to discover it in the reading of the book.
Lissa: Do you think your book is for the average romance reader? I’ve read it and I’m not even sure what audience it’s intended for. I loved it, but then I’ve got my own opinions on power exchange… You mention on your website it may not be for the BDSM erotica reader used to safe words… That being said, who is your book intended for?
Kitty: Hmmm that’s a tough question. To “me” Comfort Food is ultimately a love story. It’s a very immoral love story, in that how these people come together is absolutely not within the bounds of the law or morals or anything that we define as “good”. And yet… they each have something the other desperately needs, to own and be owned. And the truth is, that this is not some big ugly smelly guy locking her up in his basement. This is a physically beautiful male who she would sleep with in any other set of circumstances. And as he sets up the rules for her, he makes it very clear through everything he does that not only is he in control of her, but he’s in control of himself.
He isn’t going to lash out in anger. He’s not going to “harm” her. If she submits to his will, she’ll be safe. Again, totally immoral, completely not something I advocate in a real world setting, but this is fiction, playing on the “rape fantasy”.
And at the end of the day, this book is about these two people as if they are the only two people left on the planet. What social rules fall away when it’s just you and one other person? What do your rights matter when you can’t enforce them?
I think a lot of people could walk away with something from this book. Some it will turn on (whether that fact makes them feel guilty or not), some it will horrify but they’ll still identify with something in it. Some will find it fascinating from a psychological angle. Some will see the twisted love story underneath the rest of it. Many have wanted the two to end up together, despite how it starts out between them. (Which means I’ve done my job as a writer here.)
Lissa: Why did you choose to write a BDSM story this way? Without safe words, without the benefit of Safe, Sane, Consensual?
Kitty: Because I think a book like this gets to the very heart of what many submissives, especially those with an ownership kink “feel”. This isn’t about the literal reality, this is about the fantasy. I can’t count the number of women (and men) who have sexual fantasies of this nature. I mean… who masturbates to a safeword? Safewords are all fine and good. I don’t think every kinky relationship “needs” a safeword, and a safeword wouldn’t keep you safe from a genuine monster anyway. But I think there is a real place for fiction of this nature that doesn’t have safewords. Fiction that is expressing the secret, private fantasy. This isn’t about a reality anyone actually “wants” just like this. It’s about the sexual fantasy. But I hope goes beyond just spank material to make an actual social commentary.
I think we should remember that books like Story of O don’t have safewords either. That is clearly a story of nonconsent. O’s lover tells her that she will go up to the door of the Chateau, knock, and do whatever they tell her to. If she tries to run away, they will come out and get her. That doesn’t sound like consent to me. It’s the same thing as Comfort Food, only written decades earlier and featuring several strangers sexually using O. Comfort Food is more personal and more private.
Lissa: Why did you choose to self-publish?
Kitty: I don’t feel that publishers would have touched this book without asking me to change everything about it that means anything to me.
Lissa: Do you wish you’d gone a more traditional route with a publisher with a somewhat built in reader base? Would you do it all the same way again?
Kitty: I think it’s a mistake to think you have a built-in reader base with a traditional publisher. Each author has to build their own fan base one reader at a time. And yes, I’d do it the same way again and intend to do it this way for future books.
Lissa: Do you think it’s important as an author to find common ground with other authors, things in common, be friends with? Do you see it more as competition with other authors?
Kitty: I think we can help each other and cross-promote. I don’t see other authors as competition. Most people don’t read one book in their lives. The more connections you make, the more people hear about your book. I don’t understand a lot of the nastiness that goes on between some authors. If your book is good and can stand on it’s own, it doesn’t matter what other authors are doing or how many books they’re selling. The only thing that matters is writing the best book you can and connecting with your audience.
Lissa: Why should another author recommend or promote your book, Comfort Food or you as an author?
Kitty: If they read it and love it, they’ll promote it. If they don’t, they won’t. There is nothing I can “say” to make someone want to promote me. My book has to do that talking for me. My job is to get my name and book in front of as many people as possible so they have the opportunity to read and make a judgment on the work themselves. Authors are regular people just like other readers. If someone likes a book whether they are an author or a reader they will tell others about it.
Lissa: What are you working on now?
Kitty: I’m working on my next book. It’s called Guilty Pleasures. It’s told in the third person, so that’s a little bit of a departure from Comfort Food. It also may push more people’s buttons than Comfort Food. I am a little concerned that people who like Comfort Food will hate Guilty Pleasures. But I’m hoping not. It’s all in the execution, so hopefully I can execute it in such a way as to get people to go through the fantasy with me. I guess I would almost call what I write kinky magical realism. There is a level of reality to it that makes some uncomfortable. Like it doesn’t happen on another planet where it’s “safe” for everybody to fantasize about it. And I don’t use safewords in the fiction to wrap you up in a bubble of safety.
But just as with Comfort Food, it’s not particularly “brutal”. As a writer, I try to lull the reader so they’ll go along with me for what I’ve written. Fiction needs to be a safe space where anything can be explored. Just like in actual BDSM you may see some things that look a little harsh to you from the outside, fiction isn’t literal reality. Fiction should always be a place we’re allowed to explore what we can’t explore in real life.
You can find Comfort Food at the following places for purchase online:
Amazon
Smashwords
Scribd
You can learn more about Kitty on her website and her blog.
I want to thank Kitty for being here, answering some questions, shedding some light on her view of BDSM.
Y’all have a great Monday!
~lissa