Wordy Wednesday – Writing Words

After my post on Sunday, I was nervous. Scared. And those two words probably don’t even begin to scratch the surface of what I truly mean when I say I was nervous and scared. But a reader commented that I was daring, brave, bold, and fearless for writing it. I don’t know if that’s true, but I like to think it is. The support has been overwhelming and I’m filled with gratitude and humility that I have such a loyal group of readers and friends.

But one word that has come out of it all that I will fully own up to is FREEDOM! I feel as though a burden has been lifted and I can write again. It doesn’t absolve me of my responsibilities or obligations to others that I’ve promised projects to, or that I’ve told readers I would be writing…at some point…in the future, but it has given me a feeling of freedom and that feeling has opened up a well inside me that was blocked until I opened up and got some truths out.

I have high expectations of myself. Those who still read my books have expectations of me, too. I know I haven’t always lived up to them and I know I’ll fall short in times to come. For me though, the expectation now is different, is full of breath and light and possibility. I let go of things that were holding me down and holding me back and finally, FINALLY, started to let the words have their way with me and when that happens, y’all… I was in awe last night when I had a few moments to write at the words that not only found their way onto the page, but with the beauty of them. They’re raw and they’re in need of tweaking, but they’re awesome words. They’re free words. They’re not bound to an ideal that I have do something that I am no longer capable of doing in the way that I once did. I was elated and inspired.

And that is the feeling that writing used to create in me. Not the dread. Not the stress. Not the feeling of ‘ugh, I don’t want to write’. But the freedom in creation and in discovery. That’s what’s been missing for me and that’s what I found by being honest and maybe, just maybe, being a little bold, a little daring, a little fearless, and a little brave.


Five Alarm Alphas Pre-Order!


Feeding the Flames ~ Leah Breamel: When chef Tabatha Morgan returns to Barnett Springs, her burning crush on firefighter Zac Buchanan flares back to life. Trouble is, Zac has made a promise to keep his distance from Tabby, so Zac’s best friend and fellow firefighter Quinn decides to help feed the flames of their mutual desire.

Combustible ~ Lexxie Couper: Arson investigator, Desmond Russell is the best in Australia. Cool, calm and collected, nothing ruffles him. Until he meets Outback fire brigade captain, Jess Montgomery, a woman who ignites all his sexual desires. The initial spark will engulf them both…but will their hearts survive the inferno?

Wet Down ~ Delilah Devlin: Out with the old, in with the new…Or so Sherry Thacker thinks. Problem is, her ex is always on her mind and right across the street. When a “Wet Down” ceremony to retire an old fire truck is planned by the city council she has to put aside her hurt and anger and do her job. Blake Thacker wants his wife back—in every way and he’ll use whatever means necessary to win her back. Sex is always best served WET.

Two to Spark ~ Marie Harte: When a psychic predicts that a faulty toaster, a black cat, and the wrong address will bring Cooper together with Ms. Right, he shrugs off the notion as crazy. But before long, fate has something else in store for the sexy firefighter when a spark of attraction ignites into true love.

Controlled Burn ~ Desiree Holt: Montana Wade was home after writing off the past ten years of her life, but she needed one more night of courage before she faced her family. Boone Crider, hotshot firefighter, was burned out form the rash of malicious fires. They thought one night as strangers would cure them both, but the fire they started between them soon became a barely controlled burn.

Up In Smoke ~ Lissa Matthews: Half-brothers, Josh and Jay, share everything from a house, to a love of curvy, older women. So when their dream woman accidentally sets her kitchen on fire, they ride to her rescue, sirens blaring, promising to kindle flames that may never be extinguished.

Rekindled ~ Cari Quinn: Some blazes refuse to be contained. It’s been months since ex-firefighter Katie Kemp has spoken to her former lover and squad mate, Dash Carlton. But when a late night drive down memory lane leads her to a small fire at Dash’s house, she realizes she’s not willing to turn her back on the hottest flame of her life.

Into the Fire ~ Shelli Stevens: Shannon has always prided herself on holding her own in the male dominated field of firefighting. She likes to be in control. Until she strikes a bargain with a sexy man from her past who makes her give it all up in the bedroom.

– See more at: http://lissamatthews.com/blog/#sthash.kUx0gFn2.dpuf



Coming Soon! Sticky Cowgirl

Sticky Cowgirl_300x450updatedIt’s all about indulgence…

Cupcakes. Sticky buns. Coffee. Sugar sculptures. Everything is sweet and decadent. Everyone is hot and bothered…


Lone Star Sweets, Book 1

Jackson Dawson had known only one way of life: ranching. That is, until he went to college in the city. There, he was introduced to a whole new world of people, food, and way of life. He never dared to imagine that he could do or be anything other than a rancher’s son, but with his mother’s words ringing in his ears and his sister’s encouragement, he took a chance. And in the process, found himself and met the woman of his dreams.

Pastry Chef Cass Jamieson’s only desire had been to own a bakery. After a stint in pastry school, she quickly learned that trying to make your dreams come true wasn’t easy. She was dejected when her bakery closed and soon returned to the classroom as a teacher to eager young bakers with the same stars in their eyes that had once been in hers.

So, when the stubborn, determined, and hot as summer in Texas cowboy walked into Cass’s pastry kitchen, it turned her life and libido upside down. When he seeks her out for heated kisses and her thoughts on his cake bakery idea, she gives in to the lust, but gives cautious business advice born of experience, only Jackson didn’t see it that way.

Who will bend first in this battle of wills involving sugar and spice and everything naughty and nice? Come take a ride with The Cupcake Cowboy and find out…

Warning: Uses of frosting that frosting was never intended for. A dirt road showdown. A lesson in milking cows. A whole truck full of mouthwatering cupcakes (some with liquor). A little family drama. And dreams on their way to coming true…

Buy Links: Amazon | All Romance eBooks | Barnes and Noble

Into The Newness

Change is hard for most people. Whether it’s personal or business, large or small, change affects us and can be downright scary. Sometimes change is out of our control, and sometimes all it takes is a toe dipped in the water.

At the same time, change can be very good for us.

The one thing I came away from Authors After Dark with this year, is that things need to change. For me. With me. Personal and business. And honestly, I’m scared shitless.

I don’t like change. It’s typically way outside my comfort zone and the only way I’ll go is kicking and screaming. At lease on the inside (I’m way too shy and introverted to make a scene).

What conclusions did I come to about changes?

I need to let go of old ideas, things I’ve held on to, things others expected of me. I need to move in new directions.

I need to let go of people. Some I’ve clung to out of a strange sense of loyalty they didn’t seem to feel, and some because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to navigate without them. They were comfortable. Familiar to a point. But they’ve all moved on, and it’s time for me to do the same.

I need to let go of preconceived notions of can’t and can, and adopt the attitude if can and will. This is also one of those scary as all get out things. Frankly, all of it is. It’s necessary though.

There will be a new look coming in a couple months. New covers. New books. New people.

Just… Newness.


Sadness and Grief

Both let you know you’re alive and both take their toll and teach you what heartbroken is on a whole different level. You can become amazingly good at crying, completely unglued, and sometimes, you can hide it so well… Me, I’m still in the crying and unglued stage. My face is red and raw and my eyes are swollen. I haven’t eaten and I don’t want to. And… it’s all because of a cat. One of our cats. The sweetest cat I’ve ever had, that I’ve ever met.

This is Bits, but we call him Boo Bear…and he was diagnosed yesterday with lymphoma. This picture was taken two weeks ago when no one knew anything was wrong.

2014-02-19 20.21.42

Cancer sucks. Be it in a human or an animal, it sucks.

We adopted Bits when he was a baby in a shelter. The first day we met him, he curled up in my daughter’s arms and went to sleep. He chose us, at least that’s the way we’ve always looked at it. That was 10 years ago.

He’s always loved being brushed and he has always come running when there’s tuna being opened or roast chicken being cleaned off the bone. He used to sleep at my feet under the covers when he was little and he has always adored boxes.

A week ago, he was the picture of health, but now he breathes with difficulty and will only lick ice cubes from my hand to get water. 10 days ago he was running through the house, sitting in the window, or stretched out in a large box sleeping. He lays on my kitchen table now but barely sleeps. Does he know the end is near? I don’t know if he does or not. But it’s enough and it’s too much that I know and it’s broken my heart. No one lives forever, not even our animals.

2014-03-04 11.15.37

My grandfather died from non-Hodgkins lymphoma and bone cancer. He lived 9 years after the initial diagnosis and we had time to make some memories, to spend together, to remind one another how much love there was between us. I miss him every day and it took about a year for me to be able to talk about him without tears streaming down my face. I was there at the end and it was something I needed to do.

My cat won’t live 9 more years. Not 9 months. Maybe not 6. Likely not even 3.

It’s painful, this knowledge. Life doesn’t stop just because he’s dying. I’d sure like it to though.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve more than most. I can turn into a blubbering mess with little provocation. Animals are my weak spot. They are no less deserving of a good home, of good care, of love than a human being. They don’t deserve our cruelty. They are living, breathing creatures and bring so much to our lives when we let them.

Bits has brought us years of joy and I hope we can make whatever time he has left as comfortable as possible. He is like one of my children. We’ve raised him, fed him, cared for him, nursed him when he was sick, played with him, snuggled with him. So, I’ll sit here with him for as long as this is where he chooses to rest. He deserves to feel that love every moment he has left, up until the very end.


error: Content is protected !!