Well, people, it’s been ages but…I HAVE A BOO!! For those not up on the most modern lingo (like yours truly until just a few minutes ago) that means I am dating. This is a major squeeee moment considering I have been single since my children were two and four years old and they’ve just hit their twenties. In fact, the newly-overwith dry spell can be credited with giving me inspiration for my book, Caramel Kisses.
Many would think the book was about cooking or desserts or something. But in fact, it’s about a woman who has spent her life taking care of her younger sister and making her own way up the corporate ladder. Now that her sister has her own career, what’s stopping this woman from going forward with her own life? The answer: fear. Total, utter and abject fear.
What if it doesn’t work out? What if she made a poor choice in her mate? What if, what if, what if, what if…?
If we let it, fear of the unknown, fear of the new, or fear of the ‘damn, I haven’t seen or done this in ages’ can keep us from discovering something magical and fantastic.
So, I’m going to put my new beau and my family on the hook and ask them to help me with this blog post.
TJ: You’re an active duty military dude and a total bad ass. What are some of the things that you fear?
Mr. TJ: Failure.
TJ: Failure? But why?
Mr. TJ: Because when we fail, people die. Sometimes when we succeed people still die. The worst thing is to fail.
That was an eye opener. So, I moved on to my family.
TJ: What is the biggest thing you fear?
Son: To not leave an imprint on the world. If I don’t do something to make the world better, I’m afraid I’ll feel like I was just a useless person.
Daughter: Letting people down and being replaced because I’m not good enough.
TJ: I don’t understand.
Daughter: For example, what if I’m really good at business, but then I get fired because someone better comes along. Or if I’m in a relationship and I’m not meeting the person’s needs then I’ll be alone. It’s the idea that your all isn’t good enough.
Hope-to-be-daughter-in-law: To be unwanted.
Well, that needed no explanation.
On the flip side, you can face a fear and defeat it if you know what it is, right? And I can happily say that everyone I spoke to is charging forward in their lives.
And the awesome heroine in Caramel Kisses did the same. By choosing to overcome her fear of failing in her relationship, though she was long out of practice, she went on to have a truly happy ever after.
I think I’ll do the same.
What about you? Leave a comment answering my question along with a valid contact email and you’ll have a chance at winning an ecopy (either Kindle or Nook) of Caramel Kisses. I’ll pick a name (or Lissa’s PA Brandy will) in a couple of days.
Links to Caramel Kisses:
Letting people down, and being unwanted are two of my biggest fears. Even more so now that I’m a mom. What if I fail him. And really him and my husband are the two people I fear letting down the most.
smurfettev AT gmail DOT com
One of my bigger fears: It’s taken quite a while for me to pursue a dream (20+ years) and, in my mind, it hasn’t happened. So…the thought has crossed my mind that maybe…this isn’t “my calling” etc or…am I on the right path. And another is, not being able to be what is required of me for my nieces and nephews. I work hard in hopes that I can provide them the chance at their dreams that I never had (aware of). Hopefully that chatter made sense. GREAT post TJ girl!!! And congrats on the relationship!
What a great post. My biggest fear is not doing enough to forward my career to earn the income I’ve promised my family. The only way for me to combat it is to never give up, never surrender, and just keep writing. Good luck with your new beau, T.J.! 🙂
I’m with your son, leaving this world without making an impression upon it is my biggest fear. However, second to that would be failing my children. I mean that in the sense that my children wouldn’t grow up to become people that I can respect. I my eyes that would mean that I as a mother failed them somehow. Interesting quandry for your heroine TJ!
Wow, you guys, this is really eye-opening. And just think, everyone who has posted will be an inspiration to someone else to just keep swimming *tj loving her Finding Nemo analogy*
My biggest fears are not having done, been, loved and taught enough to my kids. As a single parent for 19 years, have I done enough with my kids so that they have learned to survive without me? Have I been enough of a parent to make up for the absence of their other parent in their lives? Have I loved my kids,family and friends enough and shown them enough love that they are secure in the knowledge that they are and have been loved and can take that knowledge with them all through life and apply it in their own lives and families? Have I taught them to be independent while still being generous and compassionate people?
My big fears are not finding the right guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with and not motivating myself enough to find the right job to move up the ladder. I need to stop feeling “safe” in my current job especially since it doesn’t make me happy. It’s a hard world out there!
Not being a good enough mom for my 4 kids. That is my worst fear.
As a single parent for what seems like forever, I can totally relate, Amanda.
Whitney, I know what you mean. I’m dating for the first time in a long time and part of me is totally terrified of letting the walls down. But I know I have to if I’m going to really really get to know my mate. As for the job, girlfriend, I REALLY FEEL YOU! I had to make the same decisions regarding my career and it was really tough. But I’m so glad I did. You’ll succeed, woman!
I hear you, Rhonda. I used to think I wasn’t teaching them enough. But you’ll be surprised how much your kids are actually listening to you. I’m always shocked when my twenty-somethings remind me of something I taught them when they were younger. I’m always saying, “You remember that? Really?” And I’m floored all over again ;D
You will laugh but I though Boo was short for Boo Boo, yeah I’m that old.
LOL! Really, Z? No worries, it’s the first time I’ve used a word like this in…well, I’m not sure how long! ;D
Thanks to everyone who was brave enough to share your fears with us. Love and light and blessings and ‘stuff’ to all of you – you’re going to kick ass as you press toward your goals! Tally ho!