Now, the whole date doesn’t have to be bad, but how it ends can turn it into one all within the span of a few seconds. I’ve had some great dates until it was time to say goodnight and well, then everything just went downhill. An entire date can be ruined in hindsight if he doesn’t call back. It’s all in the perspective. At least that’s how I look at it.
So, let’s take a snippet from Sugar Rush, shall we…
“…willing to pay you if…”
Jane didn’t want to hear anymore. She was numb, speechless. She’d heard Edward and Graham talking out in the kitchen while she’d been in her room getting dressed and wanted to know what they were saying. In hindsight, she wished she hadn’t. Or at least a part of her wished that.
She stomped her way into the living room and glared at the two men that had turned stunned looks her way. She’d known better, but damn, all it had taken was his sexy voice, his even sexier kisses, and his… Best not to go there.
“Oh don’t you ‘Jane’ me, Edward. You would have paid him? Am I so hideous that you would consider paying a man to be set up with me?”
“You came in at the tail end of a conversation. And I’ve never said anything about you being hideous.”
She almost felt bad at catching them in their very enlightening conversation. “But, you would have. How could you, Edward? Do you have any idea how humiliating this is? Not only were you setting me up on a blind date, you were willing to pay him to date me if…”
Graham no longer looked stunned at her entrance. No, he looked ready to take her up against the wall and fuck again. He was so beautiful she just wanted to stamp her feet in righteous anger. And hurt. She couldn’t forget hurt. Anger she would get over; hurt had longer and better staying power “And you!” She rounded on Graham. “Were you willing to take money to take me out?”
“I didn’t agree to anything beyond meeting you, but no, I wouldn’t have taken money. You’ve taken it out of context.”
She sighed and buried her face in her hands. When she looked back up, it took all she had not to cry, or scream, or run across the room and jump his bones. “I can’t believe this. You,” she said, looking at Edward, “set me up with him and were willing to pay him for it if you couldn’t get him to agree. A gorgeous, and God, he is gorgeous, isn’t he…younger man, by a good ten years and…this is almost laughable, this part…I fell for him.” His age really didn’t bother her. He didn’t seem as immature as a man in his midtwenties might, but she was grasping at straws, and the age argument was a damn good one for the moment.
“Jane…” Both men spoke her name together, and she just shook her head, not wanting to hear from either of them.
“No. I had almost gotten over the embarrassment of being set up in the first place, as though I couldn’t find a date on my own. But, that I was so pathetic as to have my best friend willing to shell out cash for a date for me… I need some time. I need to think about this.” She looked at Graham and had to steel herself against crawling across the floor to him and undoing his jeans. He was that potent a draw to her. “Thanks for the fuck, but you really need to leave this time. I may not have meant it last night when I kept telling you to go, but that was just to keep me from making a fool of myself because I wanted you so much. I guess I didn’t do a very good job. I made a fool of myself anyway.” She couldn’t look at him anymore. Not when all she really wanted was to look at him every hour of every day for as long as he’d let her. She turned around and went back into her bedroom.
She stopped in the doorway and drew a shaky breath. “No, Edward. I don’t want to talk anymore, not until later, maybe tomorrow.” She walked in and slammed the door to her room, turning the lock. She had never felt so alone, so… At least after Phillip dumped her, she’d had Edward to turn to, Edward’s shoulder to cry on. This time, she had no one, dammit.
Looking over at her bed and the rumpled sheets, she just wanted to cry. They would smell like him. They would smell like sex. She closed her eyes against the wave of anger that roared through her body. Where in the hell was the hurt she was counting on? She needed the hurt, the pain… It would keep her safe. Anger would just…well, it would just piss her off and still allow her to want him, and want him she did. Naked and hard so they could have angry sex that would lead into makeup sex that would lead into the “let’s fight more often so we can fuck and make up again and again” sex.
She didn’t know what the hell to do with being mad.
She yanked the sheets from the bed. She wanted to toss them out the window onto the street below. She wanted to take them out into the living room and throw them at Graham. Humiliation still burned and tears still threatened to fall, but instead of what she wanted to do, she simply wrapped the sheet around her body and crawled onto the mattress, buried her head in the pillow he’d slept on, and screamed for all she was worth.
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