She is one of my very favorite authors. When I discovered her Brooklyn Sinners series, I was hooked from the first word. SHE is Avril Ashton. We don’t talk a lot and we don’t hang out online together, but she’s become someone I look up to, we email sometimes, and have a deep, abiding NEED for coffee and most all things cake related. She’s no nonsense and she tells it like it is.
Please welcome her. It’s not the first time she’s been on the blog and it certainly won’t be the last.
These past few months have been filled with newness. Lot of newness. I moved my family to a new state on a whim, a hope and a prayer. Talk about new. Then I published my first self published book. Let’s not discuss that whole never say never ish. I’d always said I wouldn’t do it. So yeah, I’m steady eating crow. *coughs*
I’ve been re-evaluating my career, my process, my everything. I’d always wondered about my style. Like, what is it I’m known for? Can you pick up a book without knowing the author and be able to say yup, that’s an Avril Ashton book? After much thinking, I feel as if you should. At least, I feel as if you should know my brand and what I write, and know that it’s gonna be chock full of certain things, feel me?
I wrote So Far Gone because I wanted something short and not that complicated to take my mind away from the labyrinth of sticky ish that is my Sinners. The story wasn’t all that complex and the angst wasn’t all that deep.
In my mind.
Then I publish the book and I’m getting feedback that the book is all kinds of dark and painful. I had to question myself, like seriously? Is it really that messed up and if it is, how come I didn’t see it? Is my pain/angst threshold so jacked that I can’t even see it? Maybe my brain sorta figured hey, it’s not the Sinners, therefore it can’t be all that bad. An automatic pacifier. Crazy, but hey.
Here’s my thing: You should know by now how my stories run. I’m never going to apologize for what and how my brain translates my stories from my fingers to the page. Everything that’s there is meant to be. If you’re crying it’s because you’re meant to and if you’re all hot and bothered, embrace that, too. Now, you can step away from it, and put me on your “don’t read” list because I broke your heart. That’s sad, but hey, who am I to tell you how to feel?
I only hope to make you feel something, what that is, I have no control over.
It’s only fair that you know what to expect from my books. Let me tick them off my fingers for you. Heartbreak, pain, happiness, and arousal. Not a lot, but I’m pretty sure that about covers the range of human emotion.
I don’t know how to not make you feel something, and if I did, why would I? My goal has always been to make someone feel, to make you experience something, a genuine and valid emotion. There are authors out there who I really envy, because they can write awesomely funny and light-hearted stories that just make you laugh all day long.
That’s not me. You should know this. I don’t do much laughter.
There are authors who I envy who write amazing stories that warms the heart, but never makes you cry. It’s all a steady flow of aww.
That’s not me. You should know this.
I want to wreck you.
There’s a quote I printed out that sits on my computer desk.
“Break their hearts. Then fix it.”
That’s my goal.
To break you down. Sounds kinda horrific? It’s not. The worlds I build, the men I introduce you to aren’t the sunshiny kind, why would my books convey that? The subject matter is never soft or light-hearted, why would you expect that from me?
Loving each other isn’t easy in any of my books, why would you expect sunshine and roses and kumbaya?
I love romance. I love sex. I love angst and conflict and happily ever after. I give all of that to you. In my way. Don’t expect me to be someone I’m not, to write something that isn’t me.
Picking up one of my books ensures that you will go through it. You will run the gamut. I go through it, don’t for a second think that I don’t. I’m there on the frontlines, hurting before anyone else does. Don’t for a second think I’m writing my books just for the shock value, angst for angst sake.
But reading one of my books means that you understand, this is how I do things. It’s my way. Not for the faint of heart. If you’re looking for sweet and uneventful, my books are as far from it as you can get. They’re not the safe, sigh-worthy kind.
They’re the snot-crying, heartbreaking kind.
It’s for some. Not for all.
And you know what? I’m fine with that.
SO FAR GONE
One night? Feels like three years…
Jacob Donnelly wants something new. Something different. Which is why he’s got a one-way ticket to New York and his bags packed. One last night out to the bar finds him in a sexy stranger’s bed, giving in to an explosive chemistry Jacob had been searching for, but never found. Until now. It’s too bad he’s leaving town, although once he finds out his one night stand’s true identity, Jacob can’t get away fast enough.
Cash Warner made a mistake. It doesn’t matter that he’d never felt anything like the fire generated between him and Jacob. He doesn’t plan to ever see his one-night hookup ever again. Except he does. When the reality of what they’d done fully sets in, Jacob flees, leaving Cash struggling with how to deal with the bitter taste of betrayal he can’t escape. Because even with Jacob gone for years, Cash can’t stop wanting more of that one night. Fate conspires against them once again, bringing Jacob home after tragedy strikes, and they’ll find it near impossible to keep their distance despite being committed to other people.
Time fell away and he became lost in the sight of the man he watched. Something about this Cash perked his body right up, made his blood sing. Tonight of all nights. The feeling was bittersweet. He’d never had a reaction to another man quite like this.
Jacob jerked his head up and almost gasped. Cash sank into the chair opposite him, dark gaze intent.
“You been looking at me.”
That wasn’t a question. “I—” Jacob licked his lips.
“You.” The word mocked Jacob, but Cash’s gaze was searching.
“Yes.” Jacob cleared his throat. “I’ve been watching you.”
“You looking for something in particular?” Cash lifted a dark eyebrow and Jacob stared at him, trying to gather his thoughts. Cash didn’t break the gaze, he held Jacob tightly to him as surely as if they were locked in an embrace.
“Yes,” Jacob said slowly. “I was looking for something, but I…I think I may have found it.”
Cash blinked then, heat blazing in his eyes. He nodded once, but didn’t move otherwise. “I’m Cash.”
“Cash.” Jacob spoke his name for the first time testing it out. He liked it. “Jacob. I’m Jacob.”
“Jacob.” Cash smiled and Jacob shivered. “You should go to the men’s room, Jacob.”
His brain wasn’t working properly, wasn’t getting enough oxygen or something because for a second there, Jacob felt bewildered. Lost. He couldn’t process the words Cash spoke. He stared and Cash stared back, waiting…waiting…
“Oh.” He jerked backward then jumped to his feet. Cash’s gaze dropped to Jacob’s crotch. He followed the gaze then cursed.
“Shit.” He was hard. Clearly.
Cash’s lips quirked. “Bathroom?”
Jacob inhaled. “Yes.” One last gaze into Cash’s eyes and Jacob went. He walked to the bathroom on unsteady legs, palms sweaty, fists opening and closing as he tried to grasp and identify what it was he was feeling. He didn’t understand it.
All Romance: http://bit.ly/SFG01sh
A Caribbean transplant, Avril now lives in Stone Mountain, GA., with a tolerant spousal equivalent. Together they raise an eccentric daughter who loves reading and school (not so much school anymore). Avril’s earliest memories of reading revolve around discussing the plot points of Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys with an equally book-minded mother.
Always in love with the written word, Avril finally decided to do the writing in August of ’09 and never looked back. Spicy love scenes, delicious heroes, and wicked women burn up the pages of Avril’s stories, but there’ll always be a happy ending; Av remains a believer of love in all its forms.
Addicted to cake, the ID Channel and the UFC, Avril writes Erotic and GLBT Romance for Ellora’s Cave, Evernight Publishing, eXtasy Books, Secret Cravings Publishing and Total-e-Bound.
Friend me on: http://facebook.com/writeravrilashton
Revealed has been uploaded to both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It is now available for Amazon Kindle. We’re still waiting for it go live at Barnes and Noble for Nook. It comes in a few K’s short of 20,000 words, which is twice as long as I had planned it to be. As you wait, I thought I’d serve up a little excerpt for you to indulge in…
The mask has come off, the closet door opened, and the acceptance in revelation has begun…
Thor sent Bobby home from Abyss with a few conditions. Have the hard conversations with those closest to him and arrive at Thor’s home, midnight, the following weekend. He’s been instructed not to call, not to email, not to contact Thor in any way. Simply do as told or…not.
Bobby comes to Thor a different man, changed somewhat for having come out of the closet to his parents and his best friend. The weight of his secret longings has been lifted and his desire to begin a relationship full of exploration and submission with a man is within his grasp. All it takes is following Thor’s orders, submitting to Thor’s rules, offering himself up to Thor’s dominance.
Can Bobby truly give over his tightly held onto control to the one man who drives him to his knees? Can Thor look beyond Bobby’s womanizer reputation to the longing for acceptance within?
Find out in, Revealed, the third installment in Lissa Matthews’ Masked series
Excerpt: (R Rated)
The headlights flashed through the front window one minute after midnight. Thor smiled, took a deep breath, and opened the garage door, waiting for Bobby to exit his flashy little car. He found it somewhat funny, the turn of events, how less than a month ago Bobby had been Robert and someone Thor had looked upon with… Well, he wasn’t sure how he’d ever really thought about the man. Fascinated, for sure, but he couldn’t say he’d ever been interested in him.
Then again, maybe he had. Subconsciously at least.
To say he’d been surprised when Bobby turned from the cross last weekend and Thor’d seen who he’d been lusting after, who he’d been unable to stop thinking about, would be a gross understatement. Bobby didn’t have the greatest reputation with women and Thor didn’t want to find out or be the first in a long line of men. He’d been unsure about Bobby’s true commitment to this, but at the same time, it was new for both of them, too. Thor wanted it bad enough that he was willing to give it a hundred percent attention and effort. He hoped Bobby wanted it just as bad.
That Thor’s erection hadn’t gone down in six days, no matter how many times he beat off, was testament to the attraction, the lust, the need Bobby inspired in him. It definitely dipped well below the surface.
He’d never been hung up on the closet, coming out or staying in, however when presented with the reality of having to make a choice, of having to make the decision, Thor’d done so in the most public way possible at the time. Since he sent Bobby home last Friday night, he’d wondered if perhaps other men would affect him the same way as Bobby, kind of like being a kid in a candy store. He’d stepped out could freely sample the variety around him. The more he looked at other men, though, the more Bobby’s face filled his mind, the feel of Bobby’s lips under his, the texture of Bobby’s bare ass beneath his hand. Thor didn’t want anyone else.
Bobby got out of his car and clicked a button on the key fob in his hand. A little beeping sound filled the otherwise quiet night as an internal theft alarm set. Thor stood in the doorway between the garage and the kitchen as Bobby walked toward him. He’d dressed in jeans tonight, and as he got closer Thor could see the shirt Bobby wore was a black button down. Black boots thumped on the wooden steps and then, Bobby was eye to eye, chest to chest with Thor.
Thor smiled at the word, at the tentative softness in Bobby’s voice. “Hey. You’re a minute late. Second thoughts?”
“Traffic light missed a cycle.”
“Yeah? The one around the corner?”
Bobby nodded. “Yeah.”
“If you’ll have me.”
Thor’s heart kicked in his chest and his cock pressed itself against the wool of his kilt. “Come on in,” he said, happy his voice didn’t betray his caveman desire to push Bobby to the ground.
Bobby preceded him. “Nice house.”
“Thanks,” Thor said as he pushed the button to close the small one car garage. When it was down, he closed the kitchen door behind him.
He lived in an older part of town, having bought an abandoned fixer upper for nothing more than the unpaid taxes at auction. He’d completely remodeled it over the last year and while the outside fit in with the neighborhood, the inside was all him.
Pride filled him as Bobby stepped through the kitchen doorway and let go a low whistle of appreciation. Thor stood against one of the black granite counters and let Bobby look around unhampered.
“Did you do all the work yourself?” Bobby inquired as he moved from one open space to another, pausing every now and then to study something.
The all black galley kitchen gave way to a muted gray living room. Replicas of Scottish swords lined one wall while images of Scottish castle ruins lined another custom black and red frames he’d made.
“I know which end of the hammer to use and how to screw in a light bulb, but that’s about the extent of my home improvement knowledge.”
“I guess it’s not a job requirement in a law firm.”
Bobby laughed and shook his head, stopping in the center of the room. He slid his hands into his pockets, his eyes roaming from one corner to next, following the seamless walls up to the ceiling and back down again. “No, it isn’t.”
The living room seating consisted of two black upholstered couches, and black barstools padded in red leather lined the breakfast bar as the only eating area.
“You don’t like the color black at all, do you?”
The question was asked with a smile and the answer given was done with the same light tone. “Fuck you.”
The mood however changed in an instant as the last word left Thor’s mouth. Their eyes connected and in less time than it took for him to draw breath, Thor had Bobby up against nearest wall. “I like a great many things,” Thor whispered, nipping at Bobby’s bottom lip, tugging, sucking it between his teeth, before letting go to slide his tongue inside Bobby’s mouth. It had been too long, six days too long since he’d kissed the man he couldn’t stop thinking about.
Bobby met him stroke for stroke. He slid his hands around Thor’s waist and up his back. The moan he gave Bobby to swallow when Bobby pulled the rubber band from Thor’s hair and gripped the strands in his fists was quickly followed by another. It felt good, so fucking good to be touched, to be wanted, to be with the man against his wall.
Thor pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes to find Bobby’s bright blue ones focused on him. If he let himself, he could drown in those orbs and he tried to mentally shake himself out of the haze of lust clouding his brain. But, if he were honest, he’d admit he didn’t want to. He wanted Bobby. Had wanted him for the last couple of weeks, probably longer, probably since the first time he’d seen him at the haunted house. It didn’t really matter though. All that did matter was Bobby being in his house, Bobby giving himself to Thor.
“Play first or talk?” Just this once, he’d give Bobby the choice.
“Damn good answer, boy.” Thor touched the buttons on Bobby’s shirt. “Good shirt?”
“Damn good answer again,” Thor muttered, lifting both hands to rip the shirt open over Bobby’s chest. Buttons popped and flew across the hardwood floor. Bobby grunted and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. Thor smiled. “Get naked. I’ll be right back.”
Bobby swallowed. “Here?”
Thor was mesmerized by the movement of Bobby’s Adam’s apple and fought against the urge to tilt his head and take a bite. “Right here. Naked. Now.”
Thor turned and walked away, down the hallway to his bedroom. Through the darkness, he made his way to the bathroom where he flipped on the light. The baby oil sat on the counter along with the foil packet containing the condom he’d set out earlier. Grabbing both, he took one long look in the mirror. This was it, the moment he’d always wanted, always desired, even if he’d kept it a secret inside his own mind.
He’d been with men before, as equals, lover, never as dominant and submissive. This time things were different, felt different. It was out in the open and that added another element to it. He was ready for this. He hadn’t had a girlfriend or male lover in longer than he cared to remember. He’d been waiting for something, for someone to come along and trip his fucking trigger after Bailey. He could have been happy with her, as her dominant. Maybe not long term, but she was so purely submissive, so open and giving, he’d been smitten for months before she’d ever approached his cross. Of course, then his friend and mentor Aidn stepped in and the two had been so taken with one another, she never looked Thor’s away again. With Bobby, though, smitten wasn’t the word. He wasn’t sure what the word was, but he intended to spend however long he had with Bobby figuring it out.
He flipped off the bathroom light and walked back down the hall. Bobby stood naked against the wall where Thor’d left him, his cock hard and standing straight against his stomach. Average in length, he made up for it in thickness and Thor did his best to contain the groan of hunger bubbling up.
He tore his gaze from Bobby’s erection and mentally shrugged it off as no big deal. He only hoped his voice reflected nonchalance. “When was the last time you bent over for a man?” Nothing like a little crudeness to set the tone. This was a taking, a claiming. It wasn’t one man making love to another. It was nothing to do with love at all. It was surrender and dominance.
“I, uh… It’s been a while. A few months.”
“Who?” Jealousy boiled up from his stomach. The thought of anyone touching Bobby, being inside Bobby and Thor, however irrational, about lost his mind.
“Lawyer from another firm. He’s a switch. Visits Abyss.”
The only thing that could make Thor feel better about that was perhaps the other lawyer witnessed Bobby being flogged in the club. “Condoms?”
“Good.” Thor pulled one of the barstools away from the counter and patted the leather seat. “Bend over, rest your forearms on this, legs shoulder width apart.”
Bobby’s eyes widened and he hesitated only a moment before doing as he was told. “Yes sir,” he said softly.
Thor stood off to the side as Bobby assumed the position he’d been instructed in. Strong legs, perfectly defined muscles. Tight ass. Slender hips and trembling shoulders. His hands, smooth and well tended, fisted and let go, then fisted again as he tried to relax.
He was nervous and something about that made the tension in Thor’s gut loosen. He’d never seen Bobby nervous, not around women at least. He’d been nervous at the club last weekend, but Thor chalked that up to the public display on the cross.
He stepped closer and reached out, running his fingers lightly down Bobby’s spine in a gesture meant to relax. His muscles shook beneath the contact. “I’ve never seen you like this. Almost unsure.”
“No. Not unsure, just… I don’t know what to expect, what to do. Out of my element.” The words were soft but solid.
Thor nodded even though Bobby couldn’t see the motion. “All you have to do is what I tell you. All you have to do is follow my instructions, my orders. All you have to do is trust me.”
“I wish it were as easy as all that.”
“I know.” And he did. He’d never been a submissive, but he still understood what it took to trust. He had to trust the submissive partner, too and doing so wasn’t always as ‘easy as all that’.
“I am not going to do anything you don’t agree to. You have a safe word and a safe signal. Use them.” As he spoke, he slid his hand lower, over Bobby’s ass and gripped the flesh in his palm, squeezing until Bobby yelped. Thor leaned down and nipped at his lover’s shoulder. “Right now though, this is only about me getting inside you. I haven’t been able to think about too much else beyond splitting you open, impaling you, making you mine.”
Bobby’s slight trembles turned to full on shivers as he nodded his head emphatically. “Yes, please, sir, please.”
“You’re not above begging, are you?”
Bobby shook his head. “No sir. No I’m not.”
Revealed is now available for your Kindle reading pleasure. Find it HERE!