by Mlissa | Dec 19, 2013 | Lissa Matthews
My daughter’s favorite phrases lately are, “I’m not interested” and “I’m not impressed”. Different things, situations, and people evoke these different thoughts and sayings with her. If it’s something she doesn’t like, it doesn’t interest her. If it’s a person or something hyped up, she’s not interested.
She’s always been a go her own way type. Sure, there’ve been times she’s fallen in line with what popular, or what someone else likes it wants, but eventually, she makes her way back to being her own person.
I’ve always admired that about her. Yes, she’s been home schooled mostly, but she’s been in public schools too. She wasn’t impressed or interested in the cliques, in the sluts, in the users and posers, in the backbiting, in the drama. She had a few friends to choose from and she chose wrong, she paid the price, and she’s learned.
But being your own person is terribly lonely. There’s no fitting in, no following the trends, no popularity. It feels as though people forget you exist after a while. There’s a lot of silence and a lot of doubt that sinks in from time to time. You begin to wonder, “what’s wrong with me?”
In all actuality though, the answer is nothing. But it’s no easier for a near 20 year old to realize that, than it is for a near 43 year old to do so.
I mentioned on Twitter this morning that it’s like being on an island. You feel cut off when there are so many collaborations, so many outings, so many conversations going on and you’re not part of any of them. You’re alone in a sea of peers and strangers.
There’s not much to do in situations. Rejection is no fun when you try to mix and mingle. Being left behind is no picnic either. You miss friends but they’ve moved on or moved backward, and you just can’t go there. You miss laughter, conversation, connection, but what’s the price?
I love being an author and I’ve met some wonderful and outstanding people. And there are times I wish for popularity and being wanted in the mix of all that’s going on… But, there are other times I look around, watch the conversations, see where the mentality is and think to myself, “I’m not impressed. I’m not interested.” I’ve been hurt, I’ve done some hurting. Neither of which is a place of pride.
It’s nearly the end of 2013 and it’s the normal time for reflection and a time when we all try to figure out what we’re going to different in the coming year. In this reflection, I’ve thought of all the awesomeness authors I’ve witnessed too.
As as I’ve observed how people treat others, how open and welcoming they are to outsiders, listened to how ‘friends’ treat friends, watched and witnessed how success and bestseller lists change people… Those awesome few authors stand out and if I had to or could emulate and pattern my behavior after anyone, it would be them. Granted, I have a long way to go…
If you’re wondering who they are… Lori Foster, Amanda Usen, Samantha Kane, Delilah Devlin, Dakota Cassidy, Leah Braemel, Selena Illyria… They are their own people. They do their thing. They share about who they are, not just their books. They are open and willing and kind and there if someone needs them, needs advice, needs help, needs a friend. There are a handful of others, but these came to mind immediately… I see how they treat people, other authors, readers. I see how they conduct themselves.
As my daughter has found, there are levels to aspire to and levels to sink down to… It’s a hard lesson to learn at any age, especially when you want to fit in, when you want the friends, when you want the respect. It’s hard for a mom to stand by and watch, to not step in and protect, but these are valuable lessons to learn and that are needed in life.
So, the phone might not ring. Messenger may not chime. Email might not light up. Your name may not be on everyone’s lips. People may forget you or may never have given you the time of day because you don’t project shock and awe or run with the popular kids, authors, guys, jocks, etc… It may even be a very quiet life of home and doing things alone, but… Being you, being me, is interesting and impressive.
~lissa
by Mlissa | Feb 20, 2012 | Giveaways
Wednesday is my actual birthday, but as some of you know, I usually have a month long celebration on my blog here. I didn’t do it this year…obviously, but never fear, I’ll be back to it next year with authors and bloggers telling stories and giving away presents to readers. For now, though, you’ll have to settle for it just being me.
Presents this year will consist of books (including my new release, Forever In Blue Jeans, book 3 in my Blue Jeans and Hard Hats series), gift cards, tote bags, coffee items, cupcake items, and the big one…no, not an ereader, not an iPad, we authors do those all the time, but rather, a Keurig.
Yes, this one. It brews 3 cup sizes, you can program the time on and time off, even program the water temperature. I adore mine. Y’all know I adore mine. Unless I’m having iced coffee crack, I use my Keurig every day. It might be for hot water to make hot chocolate for the family, or to use the already hot water for instant oatmeal, but it gets used every day. You can get tea, coffee, and cocoa in K-cups. I generally prefer the coffee or tea or just hot water. I don’t care for the hot cocoa K-cups, but that’s just me, I know others who love them.
So, that’s the birthday list… Don’t be surprised though, if I change it up a little and add a few other little things here and there.
Today, is a tote bag I found at Barnes and Noble. It’s bright, colorful, and perfect for toting books.
I know many still read print books, but whether you do or not, you can never have too many tote bags (okay, you can because I’ve been told I have too many, but…I don’t listen and neither should you). Along with the tote bag, you will receive 3 books. What 3 books is up to you. Whether digital or print (up to $15 per book), is up to you.
What do you have to do?
Tell me what 3 books or what series you’ve always wanted to read, but just never have.
Are there classics like Linda Howard, Julie Garwood, Elizabeth Lowell, or Susan Johnson that you’ve never read and wanted to?
What about Nalini Singh, Larissa Ione, or J. R. Ward?
How about Shayla Black or Maya Banks? Delilah Devlin? Lori Foster? Dakota Cassidy?
Mari Carr? Vivian Arend? Cat Johnson? Melissa Schroeder? Samantha Kane? Cherise Sinclair? Moira Rogers? Eliza Gayle?
Tessa Dare? Jess Michaels? Julia Quinn? Lisa Kleypas? Nicole Jordan? Courtney Milan?
There are so many to choose from and those names above don’t even scratch the surface of good books out there. I haven’t read even a fraction of all the books I want to read, of all the books I keep saying I’ll get to just as soon as I can. So, tell me, what do you want to read that you simply haven’t yet?
The winner of the tote bag and books will be chosen Friday by noon and posted Friday afternoon. There will be giveaways all week long here on my blog. There will be one on my Facebook Fan Page as well, along with one during the Author Chat at Righteous Perverts on Wednesday night, February 22nd. So, feel free to come by and ‘Like’ my Fan Page, feel free to drop by the chat Wednesday night and meet some authors and fellow readers. Of course, none of these extras are required, but I did want to give you the options of all presents.
Most questions you’ll have to answer this week are about birthdays, so…be ready to divulge information. 😉
Have a great Monday, y’all… Oh, and don’t forget, you have until 6PM EST today (Monday, February 20th) to enter to win books or M&M’s from my celebratory post after Kyle Busch and the #18 M&M’s Toyota won the Budweiser Shootout in Daytona on Saturday night. Click here to be taken to that post…
~lissa
by Mlissa | May 31, 2011 | Uncategorized
It’s been a long couple of weeks. My mom has been here. We’ve gone to the races. We’ve had a lot of heart to heart talks. I’ve written only about 400 words.
I still haven’t heard from my editor, but I have sent her an email, just inquiring. I’m as anxious as the rest of you, trust me.
I’m exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. I am just freakin’ tired and I’m not even sure I can think straight.
Oh, but… have y’all looked at my coming soon page? This cover holder cover is on it…
It was made by my friend and cover artist Kendra at Creations by Kendra. I love it! It is marking the place where the cover will go that she’s going to make for Trouble in the Making. I am going to self publish it around the end of June. I am very nervous about it, but as I said in another blog post, if I don’t self publish, I likely won’t see any releases this year given the over abundance of submissions at publishers. Plus, to be honest, I am curious about self publishing.
On Thursday I will be traveling up to Cincinnati for the Lori Foster Reader and Author Get Together. On one hand, I am looking forward to it. On the other hand, I just want to crawl into a bed and sleep for a week. I. Am. Just. That. Tired. It’s about an 8-9 hour drive from my home to the hotel, give or take a while for traffic and the inevitability of road construction. I look forward to mingling some, but I will be spending a great deal of time writing. I haven’t done more than a few hundred words since my mom has been visiting and I really need to get cracking. I know some people aren’t going to understand what a few more days of not writing is going to do, but believe me, I am itching to write and after months earlier this year of not writing, I need to take advantage of all the writing inspiration and desire I can get. I won’t be unsociable, but I will be escaping to write.
I’ve put my snacks together for the trip:
Starbuck’s Double Shot
Chile Spiced Mango
Water
Peanuts and Coke
M&M’s
Pistachios
South Beach Diet S’mores Granola Bars
Gum
Craisins (Blueberry)
Cheese Sticks and Turkey Pepperoni
Sugar Snap Peas
That’s probably the end of my snack list, though I might find a few other things. I won’t eat it all on the way up. I do like to have snacks in the room and of course on the way back home. These are mostly healthy, some salty, some sweet. Should be a pretty decent variety.
I asked this on Twitter and Facebook, but if you didn’t see it… What are your favorite road trip snacks?
Oh, and I’ll be having a few giveaways soon, likely in July to celebrate my self published release.
I think that’s all for now. Hope y’all are having a great week and will have a great weekend. If you’re in the South, do your best to stay cool. It’s scorching!
~lissa
