by Mlissa | Dec 19, 2013 | Lissa Matthews
My daughter’s favorite phrases lately are, “I’m not interested” and “I’m not impressed”. Different things, situations, and people evoke these different thoughts and sayings with her. If it’s something she doesn’t like, it doesn’t interest her. If it’s a person or something hyped up, she’s not interested.
She’s always been a go her own way type. Sure, there’ve been times she’s fallen in line with what popular, or what someone else likes it wants, but eventually, she makes her way back to being her own person.
I’ve always admired that about her. Yes, she’s been home schooled mostly, but she’s been in public schools too. She wasn’t impressed or interested in the cliques, in the sluts, in the users and posers, in the backbiting, in the drama. She had a few friends to choose from and she chose wrong, she paid the price, and she’s learned.
But being your own person is terribly lonely. There’s no fitting in, no following the trends, no popularity. It feels as though people forget you exist after a while. There’s a lot of silence and a lot of doubt that sinks in from time to time. You begin to wonder, “what’s wrong with me?”
In all actuality though, the answer is nothing. But it’s no easier for a near 20 year old to realize that, than it is for a near 43 year old to do so.
I mentioned on Twitter this morning that it’s like being on an island. You feel cut off when there are so many collaborations, so many outings, so many conversations going on and you’re not part of any of them. You’re alone in a sea of peers and strangers.
There’s not much to do in situations. Rejection is no fun when you try to mix and mingle. Being left behind is no picnic either. You miss friends but they’ve moved on or moved backward, and you just can’t go there. You miss laughter, conversation, connection, but what’s the price?
I love being an author and I’ve met some wonderful and outstanding people. And there are times I wish for popularity and being wanted in the mix of all that’s going on… But, there are other times I look around, watch the conversations, see where the mentality is and think to myself, “I’m not impressed. I’m not interested.” I’ve been hurt, I’ve done some hurting. Neither of which is a place of pride.
It’s nearly the end of 2013 and it’s the normal time for reflection and a time when we all try to figure out what we’re going to different in the coming year. In this reflection, I’ve thought of all the awesomeness authors I’ve witnessed too.
As as I’ve observed how people treat others, how open and welcoming they are to outsiders, listened to how ‘friends’ treat friends, watched and witnessed how success and bestseller lists change people… Those awesome few authors stand out and if I had to or could emulate and pattern my behavior after anyone, it would be them. Granted, I have a long way to go…
If you’re wondering who they are… Lori Foster, Amanda Usen, Samantha Kane, Delilah Devlin, Dakota Cassidy, Leah Braemel, Selena Illyria… They are their own people. They do their thing. They share about who they are, not just their books. They are open and willing and kind and there if someone needs them, needs advice, needs help, needs a friend. There are a handful of others, but these came to mind immediately… I see how they treat people, other authors, readers. I see how they conduct themselves.
As my daughter has found, there are levels to aspire to and levels to sink down to… It’s a hard lesson to learn at any age, especially when you want to fit in, when you want the friends, when you want the respect. It’s hard for a mom to stand by and watch, to not step in and protect, but these are valuable lessons to learn and that are needed in life.
So, the phone might not ring. Messenger may not chime. Email might not light up. Your name may not be on everyone’s lips. People may forget you or may never have given you the time of day because you don’t project shock and awe or run with the popular kids, authors, guys, jocks, etc… It may even be a very quiet life of home and doing things alone, but… Being you, being me, is interesting and impressive.
~lissa
by Mlissa | Feb 20, 2012 | Giveaways
Wednesday is my actual birthday, but as some of you know, I usually have a month long celebration on my blog here. I didn’t do it this year…obviously, but never fear, I’ll be back to it next year with authors and bloggers telling stories and giving away presents to readers. For now, though, you’ll have to settle for it just being me.
Presents this year will consist of books (including my new release, Forever In Blue Jeans, book 3 in my Blue Jeans and Hard Hats series), gift cards, tote bags, coffee items, cupcake items, and the big one…no, not an ereader, not an iPad, we authors do those all the time, but rather, a Keurig.
Yes, this one. It brews 3 cup sizes, you can program the time on and time off, even program the water temperature. I adore mine. Y’all know I adore mine. Unless I’m having iced coffee crack, I use my Keurig every day. It might be for hot water to make hot chocolate for the family, or to use the already hot water for instant oatmeal, but it gets used every day. You can get tea, coffee, and cocoa in K-cups. I generally prefer the coffee or tea or just hot water. I don’t care for the hot cocoa K-cups, but that’s just me, I know others who love them.
So, that’s the birthday list… Don’t be surprised though, if I change it up a little and add a few other little things here and there.
Today, is a tote bag I found at Barnes and Noble. It’s bright, colorful, and perfect for toting books.
I know many still read print books, but whether you do or not, you can never have too many tote bags (okay, you can because I’ve been told I have too many, but…I don’t listen and neither should you). Along with the tote bag, you will receive 3 books. What 3 books is up to you. Whether digital or print (up to $15 per book), is up to you.
What do you have to do?
Tell me what 3 books or what series you’ve always wanted to read, but just never have.
Are there classics like Linda Howard, Julie Garwood, Elizabeth Lowell, or Susan Johnson that you’ve never read and wanted to?
What about Nalini Singh, Larissa Ione, or J. R. Ward?
How about Shayla Black or Maya Banks? Delilah Devlin? Lori Foster? Dakota Cassidy?
Mari Carr? Vivian Arend? Cat Johnson? Melissa Schroeder? Samantha Kane? Cherise Sinclair? Moira Rogers? Eliza Gayle?
Tessa Dare? Jess Michaels? Julia Quinn? Lisa Kleypas? Nicole Jordan? Courtney Milan?
There are so many to choose from and those names above don’t even scratch the surface of good books out there. I haven’t read even a fraction of all the books I want to read, of all the books I keep saying I’ll get to just as soon as I can. So, tell me, what do you want to read that you simply haven’t yet?
The winner of the tote bag and books will be chosen Friday by noon and posted Friday afternoon. There will be giveaways all week long here on my blog. There will be one on my Facebook Fan Page as well, along with one during the Author Chat at Righteous Perverts on Wednesday night, February 22nd. So, feel free to come by and ‘Like’ my Fan Page, feel free to drop by the chat Wednesday night and meet some authors and fellow readers. Of course, none of these extras are required, but I did want to give you the options of all presents.
Most questions you’ll have to answer this week are about birthdays, so…be ready to divulge information. 😉
Have a great Monday, y’all… Oh, and don’t forget, you have until 6PM EST today (Monday, February 20th) to enter to win books or M&M’s from my celebratory post after Kyle Busch and the #18 M&M’s Toyota won the Budweiser Shootout in Daytona on Saturday night. Click here to be taken to that post…
~lissa
by Mlissa | Nov 18, 2011 | self publishing
So, a couple of readers have suggested that there needs to be another story about Thor and Bobby, an HEA. Have you read it? Are you planning to read it? What do you think? What do you want?
It’s up to you.
Do you want another one? Do you want to know how things progress, end up?
Let me know. Email me. Leave a comment here, on Twitter, on Facebook, heck even on Goodreads. If enough of you want it, I’m happy to write it. I love them, Thor and Bobby. I know you love them, too.
It’s been a fun little series to write, something new for me to explore. There are other m/m books in my mind, up on my whiteboard, in Evernote. I wanted to know if anyone would like them, of course, as I said, there were other factors by the names of Kendra and Samantha nudging me, urging me to write m/m. I’ve loved it.
So, let me know… If you’d like more from Thor and Bobby…
And what should the title be?
~lissa
by Mlissa | Sep 7, 2011 | self publishing, writing
Once upon a time, there was a little bird named Samantha.
Now, Samantha was considered a wonderful and dear friend to Lissa and she knew how much Lissa liked to read male/male erotic romance.
Samantha, such a delightful friend suggested to Lissa that she should consider writing stories in this genre she loves so much. One thing, dear readers that you must understand about Samantha is the simple fact that she writes stories in this genre as well as the male/male/female genre and so coming from such an esteemed and successful writer, Lissa took Samantha’s suggestion to heart.
Over the course of a couple of months, some serious thought went into this idea. Lissa had considered writing male/male before, had even written a very short male/male free read, but had primarily focused on male/female contemporary. But Samantha had put a bug in Lissa’s ear to write male/male, to try her hand at it and Lissa couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop wanting to try and so she took her very short free read out of the storage closet, added a few words, polished it up, sent it off to a few friends to read, including Samantha (whom Lissa hasn’t heard back from yet…) Thoughts so far though on Lissa’s effort are good and positive.
Armed with a little confidence and a lot of nerves, Lissa is aiming to self-publish this little collection of male/male spanking stories, 5K each.
The End.
Grins…
I even have a cover, created by the wonderful Valerie Tibbs. I am working on the second 5K story and will then move on to the third one. I’ll keep y’all informed as to a release for it.
A big thank you for the faith of author Samantha Kane. And a big thank you to those already self-published who are helping me along this new avenue: Melissa Schroeder, Eliza Gayle, Selena Blake, Bella Andre.
~lissa
by Mlissa | Aug 16, 2011 | Uncategorized
No truer words were ever spoken. Okay, well, maybe truer ones, but at this moment, nope.
I am very glad to be home from Authors After Dark. I am very glad to not be living out of a suitcase. I am very glad to have my own shower and bedroom. I am very glad to be relaxed and not running everywhere from the second I get up. And, I am glad to be eating home cooked, real food again. Man, oh man, am I glad of that!
I’m gonna tell you, it’s miserable going from whole wheat, whole grain, natural foods to processed and eating out a lot. However, there was strawberry cake one night that I might kill to have a slice of again…
I met some fabulous people at Authors After Dark though and I am very glad to have gone and met them. Melissa Schroeder (straight shooter and I love that), Kris Cook (just so fabulous beyond words), Joy from Joyfully Reviewed (who welcomed me with such open arms and a smile), and Cat Johnson (who gave me valuable branding/marketing ideas). I spent a lot of time with Samantha Kane and Mari Freeman. We laughed, we went sightseeing, we journeyed to Starbucks! I met people who (when they knew who the hell I was) have loved my books and people who have in the past ragged on them and ripped them to shreds. I met people with ginormous egos and others who were so down to earth and kind and sweet. Larissa Ione was one of those down to earth people and I caught her as we were both standing off to the side at one point. We struck up a conversation and she was easy to smile and laugh and talk. I had not read her books before but because of that one moment, I will try them now. Others, not so much.
I got to spend some time talking with Delilah Devlin. I had met her at Lori Foster’s Reader and Author Get Together. I learned a lot from talking to Delilah and she’s so kind. I also met Sidney Ayers again. She’s very quiet but easy to smile and told me that her books are funnier than the covers appear so, I bought the first one, Demons Prefer Blondes and am going to give it a try!
The tattoo artist tagged me within seconds of meeting me as submissive (which is true). Kinda caught me off guard though and I left my friend Kendra alone with him and her tattoo shortly after that. She’ll forgive me…lol.
I met people from Twitter whom I just wanted to hug and cuddle with… @esmerose1977 and @juju221.
And I hung on the ever fantabulous Dakota Cassidy because I truly can’t get enough of her! She’s very gracious to tolerate me.
Look at me name dropping! LOL. As if, right? However, these are people I met and who stood out to me. Of course, I cannot forget Jen B. and Susan, two readers who actually knew me, actually looked for me. Those were awesome moments.
Aside from Lori Foster’s Get Together, Authors After Dark is only the second con I’ve attended. It was interesting, busy, however it was more busy for others than for me. I was more a tag-a-long than anything. I was a late sign-up, which was fine. Not being in the mix and middle of things, allows one to observe and listen and even find time to connect. I didn’t have to be here or there or in two places at once and that was nice. Very few people knew me, but, in the grand scheme of things… One of my roommates, Eliza Gayle… Now everyone knew her and some were falling all over themselves to get to her. Readers, and bloggers, and authors alike gravitated toward her. She was truly in her element and that was cool to see. Whereas me, I was like a fish out of water…
Authors After Dark 2012 is in New Orleans. I won’t be going to that one. August? New Orleans? Off-season? No… But Philly, that was amazing. It was so different than the Southern cities I’m used to. The atmosphere was hurried, lively, loud. I loved walking around the city, seeing the sites, the architechture, the history. The history was fabulous. And the cheesesteaks. I have to say y’all, the cheesesteak thing… There’s a bit of controversy there. Is it best with Wiz? With provolone? With American? Hell if I know! The one place we went, they said provolone. The people we talked to outside that place said wiz. I do believe after trying both, I’d have to go with wiz. Are you wondering what wiz is? Cheese Whiz. It melts into the steak better and is just more delicious. I am however cheesesteak’d out. I’m actually tired of eating out all together and as I said earlier, I’m glad to be able to eat home cooked, real food again.
I came home with two new book ideas, one I need to write on today and one I need to get started on very, very soon. The whole time I was there, I couldn’t wait to get back to writing and so, I think I shall do that now. And today will be an Elvis Presley listening day… Do you have a favorite Elvis song? Mine is Moody Blue.
Hope all of you had a great weekend and are on your way to a great week.
~lissa
