Last week, DH was home for most of it. It’s hard to work sometimes with him around. Not that he bothers me or interrupts really. I can’t tell you why it is hard for me to write when he’s home, but it is. I am very conscious that he’s around. I am very aware that because of his diabetes that he needs to eat a different times and eat differently than I do or my son does. Maybe that’s all it is… I’m very aware and being that way, is a distraction unto itself. It’s a distraction to my concentration and to the general flow of my everyday life.
However, don’t get me wrong. We get along fabulously. We have very interesting discussions and debates on politics (we’re on opposite ends of it), sports (we always talk sports), religion (again, opposite sides, but not as far apart as we used to be), issues in our respective families, home improvements, my desire for a Dremel even though I don’t really have a use for it yet, and my NEED for a new cordless drill (I love power tools)… We don’t lack for conversation. Ever.
It’s just…distracting. And in being so, I’ve gotten behind on several things. Writing being one. Picking a winner from the St. Patrick’s Day Blog Hop. I will be doing that right now, so hold on…
And the winner is… Kym! I will be in touch Kym!
Now, as for writing and being behind there. I value and appreciate my readers. The new ones and especially the ones who have been with me from the beginning. The writing world is ever changing. I spent all of 2009 hunkered down at my computer writing. All the damn time. Writing. Early mornings. Late nights. I was stressed. Most of the time ignoring my family. Feeling guilty when I wasn’t writing. Feeling even more guilty when I was. It sucked.
I don’t want my kids to say ‘yeah, mom loved us, but she was always working’. That’s just not gonna fly for me. That’s not why I became a mom. It took me all of last year to recover from that and from a loss that sent me into a tailspin. I am writing. I am writing slower in some cases, in others, words just flow. I am spending more down time with my family and doing things I enjoy because life is short, I’m not getting any younger, and neither are my kids. I want them to have good memories of us doing things as a family. I don’t want to buy their happiness or their complacency. It’s why taking my son to NASCAR races and doing things like concerts and spending hours dying my daughter’s hair and spending an entire night watching movies with her are so important to me.
I’ve noticed when I do this, I lose followers on Twitter, people on Facebook stop talking about me, emails dwindle… And while that bothers me and I feel guilty, if I somehow lost my kids along the way, that would make everything else meaningless. Some people are better at balancing all of it than I am. I do my best and no one can ask more. So, I am writing. Not as fast as some would like and not as fast as the ever changing world of publishing needs. There’s always another author to take my place, to fill in the gaps. Hopefully I’ll still have readers in the end…grins.
Today, it’s off to the post office, sending some emails, writing, making s’mores granola bars for my son, and taking my son to baseball practice, making dinner (slow cooker here I come), exercise, a couple loads of laundry, and texting with my sister, brother, and mom.
Have a great Tuesday, y’all!